Now Presenting… Ford and Wyatt!

Here is one of the first pictures I took once Ford and Wyatt were finally home. Ford spent his first 50 days of life in the hospital, Wyatt 65 days.IMG_0300Ford John and Wyatt James were born Saturday, February 9th, 2013, at 7:30 AM (Ford) and 7:33 AM (Wyatt).

This is a belated birthday announcement. I wanted to wait until Ford and Wyatt’s full term due date (April 28th) had passed, as their entrance into this world occurred almost — 3 months early. I am a changed person from this experience, as I was stripped of all control and left relying entirely on God’s grace.
 
I was getting ready for work the morning of January 17th when my water broke. Under normal conditions this would be an exciting event. However, in this case, I had yet to start my third trimester. I laid on the ground with a towel not knowing what to do. Matt proceeded to rush me to the hospital. My obstetrician doubted that my water could have broken; I had thus far experienced a pregnancy without warning signs. After reading the test results, she  looked at me and said, “Well…your water did break.” I waited for her to keep talking, but she continued to look at me with an expression that implied that there was no way to fix the problem and that this was not a good problem to have. 
 
I broke down at this point – no one wants to hear that their water has broken when they should have months of pregnancy in front of them. It turned out, Baby A’s (Ford’s) amniotic sack had ruptured also known as PPROM - occurring in less than 3% of pregnancies. The cause is factually unknown. Infection is thought to be a potential culprit; however, I tested negatively for this. At this point, no one could tell me why this had happened or what was going to happen. 
 
The doctors prepared for the worst – potential and likely delivery to occur that day. I was put on magnesium, thought to slow contractions and help protect the babies’ brains, along with steroids, to accelerate the babies’ lung development. I was in complete shock at this point.
 
My doctor calculated exact gestation to be 25 weeks and 4 days. I faced the realization that — at any moment — I could potentially deliver babies that might not survive and if they did faced many risks associated with not being fully developed. Several doctors were on the scene that day including a neonatologist whom provided us with a printout of the frightening statistics for babies delivered at this maturity. I will never forget the words of a high-risk obstetrician indicating that if the babies were born that day they would each face a 50/50 chance of being entirely “OK”. 
 
I remember lying there with heart rate monitors on my stomach. I felt entirely helpless. I have never felt so dependent on God – praying for his grace, compassion, love, and faithfulness. 
 
As the day progressed, despite being entirely out of my hands, the first goal was to make it 12 hours, secondly 24 hours to allow for the steroids to maximize in effectiveness. 36 hours passed. 48 hours passed. 72 hours passed. Every hour and, in turn, day was a victory as it gave Ford and Wyatt more time to develop in the womb.
 
I remember being scared to move as Ford, the twin with the ruptured amniotic sac, was positioned low, towards my left hip.  I hated to think that I could cause any pressure on him, as he had lost cushion of the sac. 
 
Again, there was no way to control when I would go in to labor. We eventually made it to 26 weeks, followed by 27 weeks. I wouldn’t take the heart rate monitors off day or night. I wanted to make sure that we caught any sustained dip in heart rate if the babies were distressed. The twins were also monitored by ultrasound every few days and were subject to tests for movement, practice breathing, etc… 
 
The hospital staff unanimously emphasized that 28 weeks would be a milestone as risks significantly dropped. At this point, I was so thankful for each day; however, when I thought of a goal (for example 28 weeks), I realized that despite reaching it, the babies would still be extremely premature. It was like having a goal to save $15 when what you want costs $20. Even if I made it this far…would it be enough? 
 
Risks went down each day, but they were still there. Over analysis made Matt and I feel hopeless at times. We had to constantly remind ourselves that the situation was in God’s hands, and that these were His babies. It was only when we trusted Him that we felt peace. 
 
It was on the 6th day after the 28th week, one day shy of 29 weeks, that I started to feel unusual cramping in the afternoon. This cramping developed into minor contractions. My OB decided to re-introduce magnesium and steroids in case I was going into labor. While things seemed to subside toward the evening, I fell asleep only to awake an hour later to escalating contractions. My doctor had me labor until there was a change in my cervix to rule out braxton hicks. Six hours later, it was safe to say that I was in fact laboring. I can’t describe the feeling of unwillingly going into labor.  Something that should be so special felt so terrifying. 
 
I was taken to the operating room for a C-Section. Three spinal taps later, I was numb (the needle broke off in my back on attempt two). I lost a lot of blood due to an internal, vertical incision on my uterus, coming close to needing a transfusion. All of this paled in comparison to the fear of whether or not my babies would be OK. 
 
I remember hearing their first cries and looking at Matt. They were the smallest, sweetest cries I had ever heard. These babies that I had felt so close to over the last few weeks by simply watching their heart rates and feeling them move now became so real. 
 
I wasn’t able to see them as they were rushed to the NICU for stabilization. Matt followed a team of about 10 doctors and nurses to watch. He will have to write his own story of the experience. I really admire the courage that he had. 
 
I was wheeled into the NICU about an hour later to see my babies for the first time. The amount of equipment in place only allowed for me to see small portions of their faces as I looked through the glass incubator. Regardless, they were the most beautiful things that I had ever seen. I hated seeing them struggle to breathe despite the support. I hated the fact that I couldn’t have given them more time.
 
I had spent 3 1/2 weeks on bed rest prior to the delivery of Ford and Wyatt. Leaving the hospital without the babies, empty handed, was difficult. However, I didn’t leave with an empty heart. They spent about 2 months in the NICU. I was allowed to visit each day. For now, I will say that it was a long, long road. I will write more about this and potentially post pictures from the experience at a later time. 
 
I now have these two gifts from God home with me. I thank Him for the health that they have so far. I love them so much, and it sickens me to think that there was even a chance that I could have lost them.
 
My heart goes out to anyone that has undergone a similar or more challenging experience. I want to thank everyone that reached out to Matt and I during this time. The support from family and friends has been beyond what I could have asked for. I cannot express how much I appreciate the prayers that were said, and I ask for continued prayer over the livelihood of these babies. 
 
I hope that all of the mothers and mothers-to-be had a Happy Mother’s Day! I am so grateful to be a mom to Ford and Wyatt. I have learned that a life of trusting God is far superior to taking on burdens alone. A long, dark tunnel did close in on Matt and I at times, but when we opened our eyes the light was always there.
 
Baby Inspiration Takeaway: I was “presented with” two beautiful gifts and a lesson – true peace is found when we turn to God and trust Him.
 
 ♥ Tera
[ssba]